Insecure Writer Here

The first Wednesday of the month is Insecure Writers' Support Group day. The site says if you miss posting one month, that's okay. But if you miss two months you get removed from the list. I missed last month (it's hard to be insecure when you get good news), but when I was looking at the list today I found I've been removed. Huh. If that's not a reason to feel insecure, I don't know what is.

It's certainly not a very supportive environment-- two strikes and you're out? This policy has me questioning the motives of the group and whether there's an advantage to belonging.

This week, I'm torn. I find myself thinking of going back to work in order to create a more financially stable environment for my family, and yet, I would rather be at home working towards a career as a novelist and be available for my children. My youngest is high anxiety, my middle has ADHD, so taking a job to be away from home for 10 hours a day would only make their conditions worse. I want them to feel secure. *I* want to feel secure.

I know from having spoken to authors that getting published does not make the insecurity go away, it just shifts to worrying about staying published. I get that. I'm prepared to work for that.

“I wanted to be a politician and a movie star. But I was born a writer. If you're born that, you can't change it. You're going to do it whether you want to or not.” ~Gore Vidal

I wanted to be a teacher and an author. I was born a writer. I can't change it. I tried and ended up writing again anyway. I love it. It makes me happy; it keeps me sane. It would just be nice to make writing my career.